Uncategorized

Rip Off The Mask: The Top 5 Reasons We Avoid Vulnerability and How To Change It.

I was trembling, shaking at the thought of revealing myself as an addict. I had never even admitted this to myself, let alone reveal it to strangers. My heart was racing, my thoughts were panicked, and my mind was somewhere far away. Before I knew it, it was my time to speak. I imagined that I would confess my adulterous, inappropriate, and sinful behavior. I imagined being met with judgment. I imagined the world would come to a screeching halt, and that everyone on it would fly off simultaneously at the shock and awe of my addictive behavior. I imagined the earth would open up and swallow me whole, sending me to the fiery inferno I thought I deserved. The earth didn’t swallow me whole. What happened next sent Holy Spirit goosebumps all down my body. What would happen if you chose to be vulnerable today? Read my blog to determine why you're avoiding vulnerability (authenticity) and what to do about it.

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Father Wound

That Day I Cussed God Out….and He Healed My Father Wound.

My father wound ran so deep in my heart and soul it was part of my identity for decades. It was a wound that couldn’t be cured by running away. It couldn’t be cured by sleeping around for men’s attention. It couldn’t be cured by drugs or alcohol. It couldn’t be cured through co-dependence. It couldn’t be cured through isolation and depression. It couldn’t be cured by obsessive striving for success. It couldn’t be cured by becoming a control freak. It couldn’t be cured through anger and anxiety. It couldn’t even be cured through therapy and medication (though they were helpful). No. What it took was a relationship with my heavenly father to cure the broken relationship I never had with my earthly father.

mental health, purpose, Uncategorized

The Power of Purpose

I choose to believe that every human on this planet has a purpose, and that we are all connected to our purpose by the spirit, through the gifts we are given. What if you quit that job you hate, to do something you love? What if we, as a human race each did what we are called to do? The world would certainly be a better place. The reason I am so focused on purpose is because I’m in my final three classes for my MA degree, and should be a LCDC (licensed chemical dependency counselor) by the end of this year. It’s been a long journey in the making. It’s taken me my whole life to get here. I feel as if I am about to reach that summit in my purpose, but first I must reflect on the switchbacks that got me here. Would you believe I was once a pregnant teen that nearly dropped out of school?  

Women's Health

Men-o-what??? Preparing for Menopause: My Endometriosis Journey

We, as women, are expected to suffer. There’s this code that comes with having a uterus that states we suffer, we experience pain, and we push through, and we don’t complain. We can’t complain. We got shit to do right? Momma doesn’t get time away from motherhood for gynecological pain. The shit still has to get done, and I’m the only one who can do it. Life. Goes. On. I am so sick of normalizing pain, just because historically we have suffered through it. There was a normal, logical explanation for my pain, and I was told I was “fine” I was “perfectly healthy and normal”...until I wasn’t. Sometimes the pain is valid, it is abnormal, and we shouldn’t have to fight so damn hard to prove it.

Uncategorized

Reflections of 9/11: One Soldiers Story

Today offers an opportunity of reflection. 16 years ago every heart in America was in mourning. On 9/11/2001 there were 2,997 American lives were lost (per CNN) in the heinous acts of terrorism. For some, today is a day like any other, others will forever mourn for those they lost. For many of us though, if we take the time to reflect on the last 16 years, we can see the impact this date has had on our lives, on our story, on our journey. This is the tale of how 9/11 affected my journey.

Motherhood

I Love Me Some Yoga Pants….But I’ll Never Be a “Wine Mom”

Seems to me everywhere I look I see that some form of Mom happy hour is happening. Wine is the new most popular drink of choice. Maybe it’s because wine is “classy.” Perhaps it’s because wine is stronger than spirits but not as “bad” as hard liquor. Maybe it’s because wine is delicious. The self-indulging of wine at the end of a rough day may be harmless to some. To those of us with alcohol use disorders, it is playing with fire.

Uncategorized

The Life List 

Without further ado, I present to you my life story in a list. The "life list" is easy to read, yet powerful. It is minimal but effective. There are therapeutic rewards to reviewing your obstacles and how you overcame them. Check it out and consider sharing yours....you never know who it might inspire, touch, or encourage. Tell me one thing I survived that you want to know more about. I'll write my next blog on it. 

Uncategorized

So Long, Facebook! Finding Freedom in Authenticity 

The goal was to log off Facebook and not log on again for a very long time. I've done the fasting. I've done 30 days here and there..logged out...removed the app, set timers, etc. Like a good junkie, I was right back on it before I knew it. Why on earth would I give up Facebook, such a normalized artificial paradise, you ask?

Uncategorized

Crack pipes and Carpool Lanes: Balancing Memories and Reality 

Parenthood is often times a dreadful balance of good and bad, right and wrong, deciding whether to control or expose. I'm always asking myself if I went to far, if I didn't go far enough, am I enough? Am I good enough to be entrusted with these beautiful little lives? Certainly I am not worthy. Somebody throw me a life ring.

mental health

Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia is diagnosed by the DSM V according to the following criteria: A. Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is  exposed to possible scrutiny by others. B. The individual fears they will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will… Continue reading Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?