Uncategorized

Rip Off The Mask: The Top 5 Reasons We Avoid Vulnerability and How To Change It.

I was trembling, shaking at the thought of revealing myself as an addict. I had never even admitted this to myself, let alone reveal it to strangers. My heart was racing, my thoughts were panicked, and my mind was somewhere far away. Before I knew it, it was my time to speak. I imagined that I would confess my adulterous, inappropriate, and sinful behavior. I imagined being met with judgment. I imagined the world would come to a screeching halt, and that everyone on it would fly off simultaneously at the shock and awe of my addictive behavior. I imagined the earth would open up and swallow me whole, sending me to the fiery inferno I thought I deserved. The earth didn’t swallow me whole. What happened next sent Holy Spirit goosebumps all down my body. What would happen if you chose to be vulnerable today? Read my blog to determine why you're avoiding vulnerability (authenticity) and what to do about it.

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mental health, purpose, Uncategorized

The Power of Purpose

I choose to believe that every human on this planet has a purpose, and that we are all connected to our purpose by the spirit, through the gifts we are given. What if you quit that job you hate, to do something you love? What if we, as a human race each did what we are called to do? The world would certainly be a better place. The reason I am so focused on purpose is because I’m in my final three classes for my MA degree, and should be a LCDC (licensed chemical dependency counselor) by the end of this year. It’s been a long journey in the making. It’s taken me my whole life to get here. I feel as if I am about to reach that summit in my purpose, but first I must reflect on the switchbacks that got me here. Would you believe I was once a pregnant teen that nearly dropped out of school?  

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So Long, Facebook! Finding Freedom in Authenticity 

The goal was to log off Facebook and not log on again for a very long time. I've done the fasting. I've done 30 days here and there..logged out...removed the app, set timers, etc. Like a good junkie, I was right back on it before I knew it. Why on earth would I give up Facebook, such a normalized artificial paradise, you ask?

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Crack pipes and Carpool Lanes: Balancing Memories and Reality 

Parenthood is often times a dreadful balance of good and bad, right and wrong, deciding whether to control or expose. I'm always asking myself if I went to far, if I didn't go far enough, am I enough? Am I good enough to be entrusted with these beautiful little lives? Certainly I am not worthy. Somebody throw me a life ring.

mental health

Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia is diagnosed by the DSM V according to the following criteria: A. Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is  exposed to possible scrutiny by others. B. The individual fears they will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will… Continue reading Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

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Choosing Love: When Relationships Fail

When you marry someone, you choose to love them. At some point you are faced to choose to love that person again.  We will ultimately disappoint each other, we will hurt one another.  It is inevitable. We are but mortal, human, sinners after all. Here is the story of nothing, not even a war zone, can stop God’s plan for my marriage. 

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Healing Through Art and Nature

When words dissolve somewhere between the head and the heart, what you're left with is art. Art to me happens to be the processing of feelings and transforming them into something beautiful. Art is what I've been up to. I've been processing in an entirely new way....through creativity with my hands. 

Father Wound, Grief

That moment I became Wendy from Peter Pan…Grief does magical things when triggered.

Everything was great. Life is great. I’m living the dream. I’m sober, and I have an amazing job, and I’m pursuing my MA in Addictions Counseling. My marriage is awesome, and my kids blow my mind every single day with their growth and perspectives on life. Yet, here I was, sitting in the driveway of my gorgeous two story suburban dream home, in a vehicle worth more than my annual income, crying my eyes out to a song about Peter Pan.