family, Hunting, mental health, Motherhood, Parenting, purpose, Uncategorized

Rattlesnake Ridge

Can I tell y'all how excited I am for this weekend? I finally get to go back out to my land with my family and get lost in nature! Nature is by far, the best thing for my recovery and sobriety. All the programs, doctors, counselors, etc. cannot do for me what nature does. I… Continue reading Rattlesnake Ridge

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family, Motherhood, Parenting, Travel

The Art of Unglamorous Travel: The Misguided Adventures of the Stephens Family

Ahhh. The allure of glam travel on Instagram is one of my favorite indulgences. Scenic beaches and glamorous supermodels (or simply feet) in exotic destinations have been enormously successful on Instagram. I dream of the day when I can post such scenery. My far away dreamy thoughts are interrupted by the ear piercing screeching of two restless girls in the backseat. Back to reality. We have taken our kids all across the US on extensive road trips. You gotta be either one of 2 things to accomplish this 1) Impulsive Adventure Seeking Gypsies, or 2) Certifiably Crazy. I do believe we are both of these things.

Father Wound, Hunting, purpose, Uncategorized

Persevering through the Hunt: Finding Purpose in the Wait

What exactly is perseverance? Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success (Google).There’s always a message in the wait. Most people though, don’t receive it. We often get so caught up in the wait that we miss the message. Today, I share with you the message I received after persevering through a recent hunt. So, yesterday I shot my first deer. If you’re a vegan, PETA member, or otherwise going to judge me please stop here, I’d really rather not offend anyone. Otherwise, continue for the message.  It’s taken me a year of constant focus to accomplish such a thing. Whitetail hunting is not nearly as easy as it looks.

Uncategorized

Rip Off The Mask: The Top 5 Reasons We Avoid Vulnerability and How To Change It.

I was trembling, shaking at the thought of revealing myself as an addict. I had never even admitted this to myself, let alone reveal it to strangers. My heart was racing, my thoughts were panicked, and my mind was somewhere far away. Before I knew it, it was my time to speak. I imagined that I would confess my adulterous, inappropriate, and sinful behavior. I imagined being met with judgment. I imagined the world would come to a screeching halt, and that everyone on it would fly off simultaneously at the shock and awe of my addictive behavior. I imagined the earth would open up and swallow me whole, sending me to the fiery inferno I thought I deserved. The earth didn’t swallow me whole. What happened next sent Holy Spirit goosebumps all down my body. What would happen if you chose to be vulnerable today? Read my blog to determine why you're avoiding vulnerability (authenticity) and what to do about it.

mental health, purpose, Uncategorized

The Power of Purpose

I choose to believe that every human on this planet has a purpose, and that we are all connected to our purpose by the spirit, through the gifts we are given. What if you quit that job you hate, to do something you love? What if we, as a human race each did what we are called to do? The world would certainly be a better place. The reason I am so focused on purpose is because I’m in my final three classes for my MA degree, and should be a LCDC (licensed chemical dependency counselor) by the end of this year. It’s been a long journey in the making. It’s taken me my whole life to get here. I feel as if I am about to reach that summit in my purpose, but first I must reflect on the switchbacks that got me here. Would you believe I was once a pregnant teen that nearly dropped out of school?  

Uncategorized

So Long, Facebook! Finding Freedom in Authenticity 

The goal was to log off Facebook and not log on again for a very long time. I've done the fasting. I've done 30 days here and there..logged out...removed the app, set timers, etc. Like a good junkie, I was right back on it before I knew it. Why on earth would I give up Facebook, such a normalized artificial paradise, you ask?

Uncategorized

Crack pipes and Carpool Lanes: Balancing Memories and Reality 

Parenthood is often times a dreadful balance of good and bad, right and wrong, deciding whether to control or expose. I'm always asking myself if I went to far, if I didn't go far enough, am I enough? Am I good enough to be entrusted with these beautiful little lives? Certainly I am not worthy. Somebody throw me a life ring.

mental health

Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia is diagnosed by the DSM V according to the following criteria: A. Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is  exposed to possible scrutiny by others. B. The individual fears they will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will… Continue reading Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

Uncategorized

Healing Through Art and Nature

When words dissolve somewhere between the head and the heart, what you're left with is art. Art to me happens to be the processing of feelings and transforming them into something beautiful. Art is what I've been up to. I've been processing in an entirely new way....through creativity with my hands. 

Father Wound, Grief

That moment I became Wendy from Peter Pan…Grief does magical things when triggered.

Everything was great. Life is great. I’m living the dream. I’m sober, and I have an amazing job, and I’m pursuing my MA in Addictions Counseling. My marriage is awesome, and my kids blow my mind every single day with their growth and perspectives on life. Yet, here I was, sitting in the driveway of my gorgeous two story suburban dream home, in a vehicle worth more than my annual income, crying my eyes out to a song about Peter Pan.