mental health, Uncategorized

Silencing Shame:How to Listen to the Voice of Worth

It’s that feeling that I just can’t shake off. You know, one that just sits on your chest, heavy as can be. Gnawing at you. Taunting you. It wears me out. I’m tired. So tired. Tired of thinking. Tired of planning. Tired of strategizing. Tired of wanting. Tired of striving. I need to clear my… Continue reading Silencing Shame:How to Listen to the Voice of Worth

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family, Hunting, mental health, Motherhood, Parenting, purpose, Uncategorized

Rattlesnake Ridge

Can I tell y'all how excited I am for this weekend? I finally get to go back out to my land with my family and get lost in nature! Nature is by far, the best thing for my recovery and sobriety. All the programs, doctors, counselors, etc. cannot do for me what nature does. I… Continue reading Rattlesnake Ridge

family, Motherhood, Parenting, Travel

The Art of Unglamorous Travel: The Misguided Adventures of the Stephens Family

Ahhh. The allure of glam travel on Instagram is one of my favorite indulgences. Scenic beaches and glamorous supermodels (or simply feet) in exotic destinations have been enormously successful on Instagram. I dream of the day when I can post such scenery. My far away dreamy thoughts are interrupted by the ear piercing screeching of two restless girls in the backseat. Back to reality. We have taken our kids all across the US on extensive road trips. You gotta be either one of 2 things to accomplish this 1) Impulsive Adventure Seeking Gypsies, or 2) Certifiably Crazy. I do believe we are both of these things.

Father Wound, Hunting, purpose, Uncategorized

Persevering through the Hunt: Finding Purpose in the Wait

What exactly is perseverance? Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success (Google).There’s always a message in the wait. Most people though, don’t receive it. We often get so caught up in the wait that we miss the message. Today, I share with you the message I received after persevering through a recent hunt. So, yesterday I shot my first deer. If you’re a vegan, PETA member, or otherwise going to judge me please stop here, I’d really rather not offend anyone. Otherwise, continue for the message.  It’s taken me a year of constant focus to accomplish such a thing. Whitetail hunting is not nearly as easy as it looks.

Uncategorized

Rip Off The Mask: The Top 5 Reasons We Avoid Vulnerability and How To Change It.

I was trembling, shaking at the thought of revealing myself as an addict. I had never even admitted this to myself, let alone reveal it to strangers. My heart was racing, my thoughts were panicked, and my mind was somewhere far away. Before I knew it, it was my time to speak. I imagined that I would confess my adulterous, inappropriate, and sinful behavior. I imagined being met with judgment. I imagined the world would come to a screeching halt, and that everyone on it would fly off simultaneously at the shock and awe of my addictive behavior. I imagined the earth would open up and swallow me whole, sending me to the fiery inferno I thought I deserved. The earth didn’t swallow me whole. What happened next sent Holy Spirit goosebumps all down my body. What would happen if you chose to be vulnerable today? Read my blog to determine why you're avoiding vulnerability (authenticity) and what to do about it.

Father Wound

That Day I Cussed God Out….and He Healed My Father Wound.

My father wound ran so deep in my heart and soul it was part of my identity for decades. It was a wound that couldn’t be cured by running away. It couldn’t be cured by sleeping around for men’s attention. It couldn’t be cured by drugs or alcohol. It couldn’t be cured through co-dependence. It couldn’t be cured through isolation and depression. It couldn’t be cured by obsessive striving for success. It couldn’t be cured by becoming a control freak. It couldn’t be cured through anger and anxiety. It couldn’t even be cured through therapy and medication (though they were helpful). No. What it took was a relationship with my heavenly father to cure the broken relationship I never had with my earthly father.

mental health, purpose, Uncategorized

The Power of Purpose

I choose to believe that every human on this planet has a purpose, and that we are all connected to our purpose by the spirit, through the gifts we are given. What if you quit that job you hate, to do something you love? What if we, as a human race each did what we are called to do? The world would certainly be a better place. The reason I am so focused on purpose is because I’m in my final three classes for my MA degree, and should be a LCDC (licensed chemical dependency counselor) by the end of this year. It’s been a long journey in the making. It’s taken me my whole life to get here. I feel as if I am about to reach that summit in my purpose, but first I must reflect on the switchbacks that got me here. Would you believe I was once a pregnant teen that nearly dropped out of school?  

Women's Health

Men-o-what??? Preparing for Menopause: My Endometriosis Journey

We, as women, are expected to suffer. There’s this code that comes with having a uterus that states we suffer, we experience pain, and we push through, and we don’t complain. We can’t complain. We got shit to do right? Momma doesn’t get time away from motherhood for gynecological pain. The shit still has to get done, and I’m the only one who can do it. Life. Goes. On. I am so sick of normalizing pain, just because historically we have suffered through it. There was a normal, logical explanation for my pain, and I was told I was “fine” I was “perfectly healthy and normal”...until I wasn’t. Sometimes the pain is valid, it is abnormal, and we shouldn’t have to fight so damn hard to prove it.

Uncategorized

Reflections of 9/11: One Soldiers Story

Today offers an opportunity of reflection. 16 years ago every heart in America was in mourning. On 9/11/2001 there were 2,997 American lives were lost (per CNN) in the heinous acts of terrorism. For some, today is a day like any other, others will forever mourn for those they lost. For many of us though, if we take the time to reflect on the last 16 years, we can see the impact this date has had on our lives, on our story, on our journey. This is the tale of how 9/11 affected my journey.

Motherhood

I Love Me Some Yoga Pants….But I’ll Never Be a “Wine Mom”

Seems to me everywhere I look I see that some form of Mom happy hour is happening. Wine is the new most popular drink of choice. Maybe it’s because wine is “classy.” Perhaps it’s because wine is stronger than spirits but not as “bad” as hard liquor. Maybe it’s because wine is delicious. The self-indulging of wine at the end of a rough day may be harmless to some. To those of us with alcohol use disorders, it is playing with fire.