mental health, Uncategorized

Silencing Shame:How to Listen to the Voice of Worth

It’s that feeling that I just can’t shake off. You know, one that just sits on your chest, heavy as can be. Gnawing at you. Taunting you. It wears me out. I’m tired. So tired. Tired of thinking. Tired of planning. Tired of strategizing. Tired of wanting. Tired of striving. I need to clear my… Continue reading Silencing Shame:How to Listen to the Voice of Worth

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family, Hunting, mental health, Motherhood, Parenting, purpose, Uncategorized

Rattlesnake Ridge

Can I tell y'all how excited I am for this weekend? I finally get to go back out to my land with my family and get lost in nature! Nature is by far, the best thing for my recovery and sobriety. All the programs, doctors, counselors, etc. cannot do for me what nature does. I… Continue reading Rattlesnake Ridge

Father Wound, Hunting, purpose, Uncategorized

Persevering through the Hunt: Finding Purpose in the Wait

What exactly is perseverance? Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success (Google).There’s always a message in the wait. Most people though, don’t receive it. We often get so caught up in the wait that we miss the message. Today, I share with you the message I received after persevering through a recent hunt. So, yesterday I shot my first deer. If you’re a vegan, PETA member, or otherwise going to judge me please stop here, I’d really rather not offend anyone. Otherwise, continue for the message.  It’s taken me a year of constant focus to accomplish such a thing. Whitetail hunting is not nearly as easy as it looks.

Uncategorized

Rip Off The Mask: The Top 5 Reasons We Avoid Vulnerability and How To Change It.

I was trembling, shaking at the thought of revealing myself as an addict. I had never even admitted this to myself, let alone reveal it to strangers. My heart was racing, my thoughts were panicked, and my mind was somewhere far away. Before I knew it, it was my time to speak. I imagined that I would confess my adulterous, inappropriate, and sinful behavior. I imagined being met with judgment. I imagined the world would come to a screeching halt, and that everyone on it would fly off simultaneously at the shock and awe of my addictive behavior. I imagined the earth would open up and swallow me whole, sending me to the fiery inferno I thought I deserved. The earth didn’t swallow me whole. What happened next sent Holy Spirit goosebumps all down my body. What would happen if you chose to be vulnerable today? Read my blog to determine why you're avoiding vulnerability (authenticity) and what to do about it.

Uncategorized

So Long, Facebook! Finding Freedom in Authenticity 

The goal was to log off Facebook and not log on again for a very long time. I've done the fasting. I've done 30 days here and there..logged out...removed the app, set timers, etc. Like a good junkie, I was right back on it before I knew it. Why on earth would I give up Facebook, such a normalized artificial paradise, you ask?

Uncategorized

Crack pipes and Carpool Lanes: Balancing Memories and Reality 

Parenthood is often times a dreadful balance of good and bad, right and wrong, deciding whether to control or expose. I'm always asking myself if I went to far, if I didn't go far enough, am I enough? Am I good enough to be entrusted with these beautiful little lives? Certainly I am not worthy. Somebody throw me a life ring.

mental health

Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

Social Anxiety Disorder or Social Phobia is diagnosed by the DSM V according to the following criteria: A. Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is  exposed to possible scrutiny by others. B. The individual fears they will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will… Continue reading Social Anxiety: How Do I Stop Being A Damn Ostrich?

Uncategorized

Triggered: When music takes you back to the dark times.

The news of Chester Bennington's death hit me hard. It hit me so hard that I couldn’t write about it until now. I realize what happened inside me when I heard the news, but it didn’t come to fruition until I found myself in my doctor's office.